It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize