then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
