she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
its not stalking. its research.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
