I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
