i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
