I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
