After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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