I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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