Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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