Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize