i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
