I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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