you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
