Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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