Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
