his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
