You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
