I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
