my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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