i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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