i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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