My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
