This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize