like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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