did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
