my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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