a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So. Much. Porn.
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