Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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