just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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