i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
3pm strippers are depressing
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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