Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
