This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
