I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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