This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
