The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
