I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
