Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
