Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
