hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize