i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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