in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
