Sry I called you an 8
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
