Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You are the jesus of drinking
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
