i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
