pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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