i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
