we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
