bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Duck Duck Cougar?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
