Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
