Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
