Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
