question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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