You're completely useless in the revolution.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
