I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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