i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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