i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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