Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
