It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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