even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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