These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
